Friday, January 29, 2010
Spending time with her last night got me thinking about Lauren's birth father (let's call him Drew). This is a little more confusing. I know who he is, but am pretty sure he doesn't know who I am, nor that I know who he is (are you following this?). Elise told us his name when we first met her (they were no longer together when she was at the end of her pregnancy), but he's never wanted to meet us, or Lauren. From time to time I've Googled him, and searched for him on Facebook, but hadn't done that in several months, maybe longer. Today I looked him up and discovered that not only is he engaged, but HE HAS A BABY! A daughter, born this month. Which means Lauren has a half-sister. I always knew the day would come when Elise would get married and have children, and hoped that Lauren could know them, but I hadn't even considered Drew in this light.
So. Lots of stuff stirred up here. Part of me wants to contact him and say, "Hey, I adopted your first daughter and let's all be one, big, happy family and get these girls together." Part of me wants to smack him upside the head for choosing to ignore the fact that Lauren exists, while accepting the existence of -- and actively raising -- this new baby. And, as Bret pointed out, perhaps someone needs to share the merits of condoms with Drew, not that we're complaining, as the lack of one resulted in Lauren. Anyhoo...
There's really nothing I can do with this information right now. So I will hang on to it for when it's appropriate to share with Lauren, or to contact Drew, or whatever. There's no handbook for how to handle this type of family stuff. We just have to make sure Lauren knows how loved she is, and that's the easy part.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
I was not surprised (though I had conjured up fantasies of being able to say I landed the first agent I contacted) or devastated. I'm actually glad I took that step. And now I can send it to someone else. It only takes one "yes," right? Or a good self-publishing company and a few thousand dollars.
Anyway, at least I feel like I'm making some progress on a goal, which is not a bad way to start a week.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Nice birthday on Saturday. Took Lauren to swim lessons, got my hair cut and colored (not exactly the Debra Messing-like red I was hoping for but still nice to be at the SAL-on), and out for a fantastic dinner with Bret and Lauren.
Lauren picked out her card for me, the cake, the ice cream and the ribbon on my present. All day she'd look at me and grin and say, "Mommy, it's your birfday!" That made turning 41, which is quite possibly the most un-exciting age to turn, totally worth it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Anyway, my old ones were pretty broken down, but man, are athletic shoes expensive. Not like back in the day when you could go to Kmart for some $10 trax (were they even that much?).
Also, I have me some big old feet, so can't buy shoes just anywhere. I found a few pairs online and though I liked the way a couple of the others looked, I went with the least expensive pair. Only $48, but maybe a bit flashy.
So why did I buy 'em? Budget, baby. It's time to stop spending like it's 1999. Time to build up some savings, eat at home more often and, yes, buy shoes that might make me look like I'm wearing fat tropical fish on my feet. I'm actually okay with that. I feel good about this budget thing and am ready to make some changes in my life to have more money to spend on things I really want. Like this.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I can think of no better New Year's resolution than this copy from a spam email I just received (subject line above):
Shred Excess Fat
Gain Insane Strength
Unleash Raging Energy
Maximize Your Libido
Enjoy Wicked Pumps
I'm not exactly sure what "wicked pumps" are (arms?) but I'm going with the literal translation. Ah, yes, M. Louboutin, now that's a resolution.