Burn Fat, Get Ripped and Improve Endurance

I can think of no better New Year's resolution than this copy from a spam email I just received (subject line above):

Shred Excess Fat
Gain Insane Strength
Unleash Raging Energy
Maximize Your Libido
Enjoy Wicked Pumps

I'm not exactly sure what "wicked pumps" are (arms?) but I'm going with the literal translation. Ah, yes, M. Louboutin, now that's a resolution.